Virgin Mara and Mineral water

Stupid! Little David gmails bubbly Nicole (or Nikki, as she goes by in daylight hours) to--and get this--THANK HER!!!!!

--and to readily inform her that syphillus is easily curable through peniciln *smiles*That's a joke....

What the HELL am I thinking!!!!!

In the immortal words of Joni Mitchell:

"and if you care don't let 'em
know--don't give yourself
away."

In the immortal words of John Donne, Mara

"For Gods sake hold your tongue and let me love."

You see Little David has a hard time when it comes to love because those whom he loves ( or once loved) most of all in this planet (three so far, more or less) are represented as miniscule pink crevices slanted into his left palm, reminding him (whether he is stationed over the porcelain lip of the urinal or grasping his hands in a prayer of thanks) that he once held something he loved and cared for very poetically and intensely and somehow lost.

Lost....even thought he still PASSIONATELY, ardently loved nonetheless.


Which is Bull Shit, cuz those TRUE writers-wayfarers out there know that you never really lose anything. Maybe I've lost domesticity and the sight of a three year old young bride sprinkled with tears and the embarrasment of having to buy "bedroom" manuals at Barnes and Nobles while the hot check-out girl notices my nuptial cuff...maybe that.

Still--why do I feel so scared and school boy timid inside? Like I'm wearing my jockstrap backwards in the Varsity locker room

Love? Hell no.

Possibility of commitment with someone you just met? Perhaps.

Overall feeling that I may be just "Settling for whatever comes next?" Affirmative.

Feeling that I might inadvertently crush her heart. Two Marginal Thumbs up Gene.

Ambivalent feeling that I'm being picky. Oui.

Feeling that she deserves better. --Fart Sound--

Feeling that she's "the one." Ah. No.

Feeling that we could just be mutual F.B.'s? Past that stage of your life, David.

Feeling that I secretly like someone else? Secret handshake meaning yes.

Feeling that it's hard to explain to girlfriends parents what you do for a living without them looking at you like your first name is Hannibal as you lick your fork and grope your significant other beneath the thanksgiving dinner table. Something like that.

Feeling like, what RUMI says, is "All you really want in a LOVER is LOVE's confusing joy's."
If I were still Baptist I would holler out an AMEN.

Feeling like you have FOUR huge projects due PLUS you have to work almost non stop until WED. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Feeling that everyone more or less, feels this way more or less all the time. YES!!!!!