Paper Glass Chateau

DAY II

Number of cigarettes: zero....Good considering I've been inhaling a pack a day of Al Capone's mini-cigars.

Number of alcoholic beverages consumed: Zero. Good considering last week I poured a healthy portion of the Suez canal down the old hatch. My liver was easily doing the back stroke next to my buoyed spleen.

Number of Starbucks Venti Coffee's carelessly slurped: Two (ok three)....plus a cup at brunch with Jason. I know, I know....

Academic Progress: Later, it's still technically fall break. Although I scowled at the empty blue of microsoft word for a half hour in an endeavor to finish grinding out that screenplay.

Also shaved my beard. My father always had a beard growing up and I can't cultivate hair on my face for the life of me. My beards look like dead needles dangling off of an old back-alley Christmas trees in mid-February. Pathetic. Worse that that, they itch. I seriously scratched the hell out of the side of my face so now I have little volcanic rashes everywhere that look like hickies. No wonder my co-worker keeps elbowing me in the ribs.

Also, in an effort to allocate spirutual purification, I axed about half of my MATURE VIEWING catalogue. I once wrote a short story about a young married couple. They're married about three years and their marriage of course sucks. The battered groom starts to get heavily into porn only knowing that his insouciant wife will be royally p.o'd if she ever discerns his secret cache, he starts hiding his totemic heap of colorful, oversized boxes in random places around their newly morgaged suburbian haunt. Eventually, he runs out of places to stash the MATURE VIEWING videos and since his wife can't cook, he decides to place the cache of porn neatly into the back of the stove.

Ironically, one day when he's out playing golf, the groom's skeptical mother-in-law spontaneously stops by and decides to cook a meat loaf. The results are readily predictable and the Mother in law ends up whacking the Groom over the side of his head with a rubber house after the fire is extinguished....